In his cross-country listening tour, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy, M.D., M.B.A., said people surprised him with their stories. “They felt isolated, invisible and insignificant,” Murthy observes. “Even when they couldn’t put their finger on the word lonely, time and time again, people of all ages and socioeconomic backgrounds, from every corner of the country, would tell me, ‘I have to shoulder all of life’s burdens by myself,’ or ‘if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.’”

Murthy’s 2023 report — Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation — explores the “Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community.” In recent years, according to the report, about half the adults in the United States experienced loneliness. And that was before the COVID-19 pandemic cut off so many from their friends, loved ones and support systems, intensifying the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling, however. It harms an individual’s health, the health of our society and contributes to a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death.

“The good news is we have many opportunities and an obligation to invest in addressing social connection — similar to the investments we’ve made in tackling tobacco use, obesity and drug addiction,” says Hayley Flott, PDRMA Wellness Consultant. “The surgeon general’s report includes strategies for individuals, workplaces and parents to help people build more connected lives and a more connected society.”

INDIVIDUALS

Nurture your relationships through consistent, frequent and high-quality interaction. Reach out to a friend or family member every day. Minimize distractions during conversations to improve the quality of time you spend with others. For instance, don’t check your phone during meals, important conversations and family time. Find opportunities to serve and support others — from family and coworkers to friends or strangers — by participating in community service. Be responsive, supportive and practice gratitude. Doing so encourages others to reciprocate, which strengthens our social bonds and improves relationships. Engage with people of different backgrounds and experiences to expand your understanding of the benefits of relationships. Participate in social and community groups — fitness, religious, hobby, professional and community service — to foster a sense of belonging. Stop practices that lead to feeling excluded, including harmful and excessive social media use, time spent in unhealthy relationships and a disproportionate amount of time in front of screens instead of people. Seek help when you’re struggling with loneliness or isolation. Reach out to a family member, friend, counselor, health care provider or the 988 crisis line. Be open with your health care provider about significant social changes in your life, so they can better understand potential health impacts and provide recommendations to mitigate health risks.

 

WORKPLACES

Ensure your workplace is welcoming and accepting to all minorities and cultures, including LGBT. Train and empower leaders to promote connection. Leverage existing leadership and employee training, orientation and wellness resources to educate your workforce on the importance of social connection for workplace wellbeing. Educate your workforce about the importance of social connection for overall workplace well-being. Create practices and a workplace culture to allow people to connect with one another as whole people, not just as skill sets, and that foster inclusion and belonging. Establish policies that protect and help employees nurture their relationships outside work, including supporting work/life balance and caregiving responsibilities, and creating a culture that supports these policies. Consider opportunities and challenges posed by flexible work hours and arrangements that can impact employees’ abilities to connect with others both within and outside of work.

 

PARENTS

Although many of these tips focus on parents of young children, you can apply them more broadly to children, relatives and friends of all ages. Understand that strong, secure attachments are protective and a good foundation for other healthy relationships. Model healthy social connection including constructive conflict resolution, spending time together, staying in regular contact with extended family, friends and neighbors, setting aside time to socialize away from technology or social media and participating in community events. Help children and adolescents develop strong, safe and stable relationships with supportive adults like grandparents, teachers, coaches, counselors and mentors. Encourage healthy social connection with peers by supporting both individual friendships and participation in activities such as volunteering, sports, community service and mentorship programs. Be attentive to how young people spend time online. Promote positive, in-person activities and connections that delay the age at which your children join social media platforms. Once they engage in such media, carefully monitor screen time. Identify and reduce behaviors and activities that may increase social disconnection, including bullying and excessive or harmful social media use. Talk to your children regularly about social connection to determine if they’re struggling with loneliness or isolation and to encourage them to talk about their feelings. Watch for warning signs of loneliness and social isolation such as increased time spent alone or online, limited interaction with friends or excessive attention-seeking behavior. Connect youth to counselors, educators and health care providers if they are struggling with loneliness, isolation or unhealthy relationships.